There are some sounds which get on my nerves. Doesn’t matter what I’m doing but  especially when I’m trying to concentrate. Like at work when my colleague eats his lunch at his desk. I’ve learnt to tolerate his munching, but that insolent slurping? Those clumsy drags from a soda can? Uggh. I cringe inwardly every time I hear that. Or those loud, unhurried sips from a hot cup of coffee.

I hate the sound of liquids being poured sloppily into a glass. Someone, again at work, has a water bottle and several times during the day, he loudly pours water into a glass. I can never see him do it but it always splashes about so loudly (while the bottle itself is making those raspy chuggy sounds as it’s being drained) that I imagine him pouring down from a height.

I also hate the throat sound people make when gulping liquids. And mouth sounds when eating – not just chewing loudly but tongue-clicky sounds. And nostril sounds – when someone has a partially blocked nose but are content enough not to blow it but continue to breathe through it and a little whistley tone is produced.

Of course some sounds are just plain hilarious. For instance, you could be in the toilet at work, checking emails on your phone. It is afternoon. All is silent. You don’t realise someone else is around. And then you hear them fart loudly two stalls away. And all is quiet again, a cold, embarrassed silence. And you feel like laughing aloud and quietly waiting outside so that when they come out you can make them feel really guilty.

Or when you are once again in the toilet and you hear rushed steps. The pace quickens as the footsteps approach a stall. What you hear next sounds like a bucket being poured into the toilet but of course it’s just someone who’s been holding it for quite a while. That is amusing.

I also hate the occasional drumming and thumping sounds some people make. There was this guy at the station today and he was obviously enjoying the music belting through his headphones a lot as he was slapping and playing his thighs like they were regular percussion instruments. When the train came, I got into a different carriage from his because I know he would have ruined my journey otherwise. I am also not a big fan of low singing and humming. I hate it. Especially when men do it. And high pitched laughter.

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