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Why the stomping? Why the need to pace that stupid wooden floor so many times. I can hear everything you do Bigfoot. And why do you keep opening doors so many times. And why do you bang them shut? Why do you drag chairs. And you seem to have something heavy on wheels, please can you stop dragging that. Bigfoot I can hear your big heels punishing your flooring. Why Bigfoot couldn’t you have been a ballerina. I do think you wish you were one, which is why you leap sometimes. But each time you land with a heavy old thud don’t you Bigfoot. And you never understand what it is I mean when I bang on my ceiling with my broom, do you Bigfoot. I imagine you putting down your chewy treat (a small human being) for one second, straining to listen, scratching your head and then getting on with your meal as you continue to pound the ground. Oh Bigfoot, you know I secretly wish you were some sort of petty thief and one day the police comes and takes you away. Enjoy pacing your prison cell then.

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