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I got the result for the exam I took in June, which I’ve taken several times before unsuccessfully and for which I’d worked my ass off. The email began with “we sincerely regret to inform..”. I felt bad but then thinking back I don’t feel as much pain as I did last year. This time around I’ve realised that I’m doing this more than anything to prove to others that I can do it. This year I didn’t sacrifice as much. I still had great holidays and weekend breaks, I got to spend time with mom who was here in London to provide support, we watched sci fi movies and I got better at what I do at work. I have a great job, a darling bicycle, an adorable cat who’s adopted me, a camera and a purple elephant who’s always smiling. I have a holiday planned in 2 days and tomorrow I meet a girl I’ve known for nearly 15 years but never met before. I’ve seen my father and husband face whatever life throws at them with humour and my mother always keeping the faith. I’ve seen my father in law battle and lose to cancer and my mother in law refusing to let it kill her childish joys. To anyone who thinks I’m a loser for saying this, I say I don’t care what you think. There are bigger problems and worse defeats in life. This is just an exam.

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