It’s so amazing (I have come to hate this term because of how common it is but I’ll say it – amazing) how much your spirits can be lifted simply because the people you love go out of their way to show you that they care. Messages in the morning, phone call with mom and several emails from both parents during the day with the express purpose of making me happier. Your efforts on their own cheered me up, your kind words even more so!
I felt nicer going in to work this morning and could tackle it better. I also realized during the day that my blue feelings seem to be associated largely because of my emotional attachment to my apartment. It has been the most stable aspect of my life here and literally the place I have been coming home to. In this whole city, it’s been the one place where I can put up my feet and really relax. It’s been my first independent apartment in my whole life. I had never changed a ceiling bulb on my own, or unscrewed a wall panel to fix a telephone line, nor had I ever fixed an internet connection on my own, nor had I ever assembled furniture, or fixed new curtains (including cutting curtain wire). I had never cleaned grout before, or used floor wipes, or scrubbed a kitchen hob, or cleaned an apartment and done dishes on a regular basis. I had never changed fire alarm batteries before, or vaccum cleaner dust bags. Or dealt with radiators and boilers. Or nursed my own sprained ankle. I’ve planned many trips from here and I’ve always felt elated to come back to the familiar feel of home and see that little light I leave on in the drawing room. I’ve had many firsts here in this apartment. I often have a tendency to assign a personality to inanimate things – Eli or the Duchess for instance (they’re both going to give me a tough time for calling them inanimate later, especially Eli) – and if I had to assign a personality to my apartment it would be this – warm, protective and secure. It’s been a great friend.
I know life is an adventure and I know it is time to move on. Also in the interests of practicality. Sure there will be some fun associated with getting to know a new area and living with more conveniences. But there will always be a special soft spot in my heart for this little home by the river.